18/19 Weeks

No post last week, sorry about that. Christmas and all. Well I'm not sorry about Christmas..but the fact that I didn't find the time to post, that is!

Anyway, not much has changed really. The pregnancy is going really well. I have more energy and rarely take naps in the afternoon. Which does make me tired a bit earlier at night, but nothing too bad.

I do have the occasional heartburn, usually when I am sleeping. Along with sleeping, it is getting harder to "get comfy". Not that I am complaining, because I know the babies are just going to continue to grow. But I realize eventually, in the near future, I will need to get a pillow to "prop up" the baby belly. Along with sleeping I have had some very vivid dreams. Now, just ask my husband, my dreams, even before pregnancy, were always very vivid and detailed and long. So not much has changed there, just that they are more frequent.

No cravings. Enough said there.

My back is starting to hurt a bit. But only if I walk for long periods of time. It helps to actually squat, which I have done in the middle of the store. Seems to stretch out my back. Again, probably a near future purchase is a "belly belt support" of sorts. Any ideas out there?

Nothing else new to report. I can't believe that next week I will be half way through the pregnancy. Seems like just 2 weeks ago I was announcing the big news! Truth be told, I am likely already past the half way, since it is likely that the twins will come early. My goal is 36 weeks...so please keep that in prayers (and either before or after my dad's fish derby, dear Lord, please not during!)

I have my 20 week appointment next week. Then in the new year we start all of our classes and such. Seems so surreal to be actually talking about the present year of the birth of my babies. Before it was just "oh May 2010", now it will be "in May"....this May, not next year May. Wow!! I am sure things will just start going faster and faster now. So hang on for the ride and I'll hang on to my belly!!


I don't think I have grown much, but you can be the judge. 19 weeks belly!

17 weeks

Okay so today I am actually 17 weeks 2 days. I can't believe that in 3 weeks I will be half way through this pregnancy. I swear just like a week ago we found out that we were expecting! I am trying to enjoy every moment since I know, especially in the new year, that its going to go in a flash!

Things are going really well. I have more energy now and take naps less frequently. Though I do love those naps when I get a chance! Eating and taking pills are finally something that is much easier to "swallow"...(ha ha get it?? Oh nevermind!). Which is a good thing, since I seem to be hungry all the time now! Thankfully the bleeding has completely stopped for almost 2 weeks now. Looks like the babies are settled in and ready to just grow and grow!

I was telling Dave the other day, when you think of pregnancy you think of a beautiful growing belly. I never though my body would have the pains that it has so far, and pull in areas I didn't know existed. And I know it is only the beginning!

Next week is Christmas! A very exciting time. Looking forward to seeing family and enjoying the Christmas music, hot cocoa, and twinkling lights. Amazing to think that this time next year 2 more stockings will be hung and we will have 2 little ones to smile with!

So Merry Christmas and here are some belly pics (don't say I didn't get you anything this year!)

This was taken on 12/15 - 16 weeks 6 days

This one - amazingly enough - was taken just 2 days later (12/17) at 17 weeks 1 day! Wow can I really expand that fast!? Though I do say it has something to do with the maternity pants I am wearing - - and yes, I am sticking to that theory!

16 weeks

Okay so this is a bit late..since I will be 17 weeks on Wednesday.

Anyway, our 16 week appt went great! Babies were doing dandy, one on top of the other. One baby even yawned...cutest thing ever! While one baby was kicking the other and you could see the poor little one bouncing from the kicks. Kinda funny though!

Their heartbeats were 143 and each were measuring about 10 cm. Exciting stuff.
We don't have another appt until our 20 week and then a week later our "formal" ultrasound, which I am just over the moon about!

Yes my belly is getting bigger. They say that this is when the babies get the growth spurt and just start growing, so this should be fun! I am so excited to look pregnant and not have people (sometime myself included) wonder "if".

Just last night I was sitting on the couch and I think one of the babies kicked me. I have been feeling flutters for about a week or so now, but having not experienced this before, still am not sure what I felt! So, as I was sitting there it was a sudden jab to my right side. It actually scared me cause I didn't know what it was. Then I thought, I bet that was a baby! WOW....so do it again...yeah right! Oh well, guess there will be plenty of time to enjoy every little kick and jab!

Here are the ultrasound photos that were taken when I feel down the stairs. We didnt get any for 16 weeks, but these are just 3 days before.

Baby is face down

So the head of one baby on the left and then the other baby face up,
more on their side, back to us

Going Down

Well sorry I haven't updated for a bit, but at least I can spread news out among a couple of posts! Yeah me!

Anyway, last Thursday (Dec. 3) I was walking down our stairs and slipped and slid down the last 2-3 stairs. It knocked the wind out of me, not to mention scared me! I had never had the wind knocked out of me before and I wasn't really sure what to do. Didn't want to turn on my belly but had to move. So I crawled over to the phone in the living room, sat against a chair and called Dave at work. Luckily his shift was over and he was just chatting with the guys. I cant even imagine the fear he felt when all I said was "I feel down the stairs you need to come home".
So he rushed home and "broke tons of laws" along the way! At least he was safe, wearing a seat belt of course! He got home and I was still sitting against the chair. I didn't want to get up for fear of bleeding or passing out. He helped me up and everything seemed to be okay.
I called labor and delivery just in case and they said to follow up with my doctor the next day.
So I saw the doctor the next day and everything checked out okay. Babies were fine, jumping round in there. Didn't hurt them at all but made mommy's back pretty sore for the next couple of days.
So as one wise man once said (that would be my dad#2) "use the stinkin hand rails!".

Blond or Brunette......Im brunette!!

Okay seriously! I know it is a fact that once you are pregnant your brain does shrink during the process. But sometimes I wonder if I am going crazy or just not paying attention.
Case and Point:

Watching a movie where the main character works at the LA times....I then ask "where is this? In Florida?"

Reading an advertisement, Dave says we could get this, I point out "only valid in November". My patient husband waits as I then realize the current date is November 28th.

Sheesh...seriously!! I hope I don't forget my way home! Maybe I should post a note to myself or write my name on my collar!! :)

15 Weeks

Not much has changed this week. I did however wear my first pair of maternity pants today! Of course they were still a bit big, but I know in due time I will grow into them. I am kind of at the mid-way point where people wonder but would never dare to ask! LOL
I am also thoroughly convinced that I will never actually feel "safe" in this pregnancy. Go figure! Just when I think I feel better, more comfortable about it, I again start to worry. Of course about needless stuff, but "stuff" to me nonetheless.
Am I growing enough?
Are the babies growing?
Could something still go drastically wrong?
What is this pain, what is that pain?

Well, I see the Dr again next week. So we get to see the babies. Ultrasounds thrill me and scare me all at once.

But on a very good note, the bleeding looks like it has decided to stay away!! 2.5 days and counting! Which of course makes me wonder if something else is going wrong! Stupid I know! AHHHH!


65574100.1245.4173. 192.168.455.5 192.168.254.5
** and this little gem you ask?!? This is my babies daddy deciding to hijack my blog post. Thanks for the er....uhh....input babe! Love you!**

I notice

I notice that since I have been pregnant my "life value" has gone up.
Not that people didn't love me before, but it is just funny to me how now that I am with children (not child, since there are two in there - weird huh!) people tend to say be careful more. Or drive safe. I am usually always careful and I do drive safe.
Guess things are just more "important" when you are "transporting" two more around with you! LOL

Belly pictures

No NO....there are not belly pictures yet! Ya see, I was a fluffy girl to begin with. I still just look fluffy. Now, my fluffiness is a different shape and you can feel the difference. But pictures, my dear friends, would not show the difference. So you ask (okay maybe your not asking, but Im telling), are we going to ever see belly pictures??
Well of course! Once my belly starts to look like there is actually babies in there, which wont be long, there will be pictures! I take pictures, so you know there will be! Maybe it will be my Christmas surprise to everyone...posting belly pictures. {Well that is not much of a surprise if I just told you, now is it!}
Anyway, there will be some, but not right now!

Things you take for granted

So when you want to be pregnant as long as I have wanted, you tend to "glorify" the whole process. Now don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful miracle and I am so proud and privileged to have these beautiful babies growing inside of me. I am thankful everyday.
But lets reflect....movies especially show pregnancy as morning sickness, a belly and then BAM the baby is here! People with children or pregnant tend to reflect on their pregnancies, morning sickness, sore breasts, tired. But me...no I think of the little simple things in life that never even crossed my mind about being pregnant. I probably watch too many movies!
Anyway, things that I have taken for granted include:

• Brushing my teeth without gagging
• Taking pills without gagging (which then led me to my first {and only} vomiting)
• Only eating portions like a bird (which can be a good life lesson)
• When trying to exceed "bird" limit, the feeling of what goes down, must come up
• The "I have to eat now" feeling or this isn't going to be good
• Not wanting to eat anything, because everything is gross
• Being able to sleep on your stomach (I know this is only going to get worse)
• Going longer than 2 hours with using the bathroom
• Walking into the grocery store, where smells are in abundance
• Your stomach feeling like it is getting torn apart as it stretches (and gonna get worse, I know)
• Not having the energy to wash even just one dish
• Just not feeling like "yourself" .. this will probably never change now! :)
• Going to the bathroom and thinking "that's it!? Are you kidding me?! I still feel full!" (which I am, with babies!)

So, I know more pregnancy signs are going to come along and I know some of these are only going to get worse. Nothing above bothers me, and I am happy to endure it. What makes me laugh is most everyone talks of the big things in pregnancy, yet it is the little simple things in life that are the hardest to adjust to sometimes. :)

14 Weeks

Okay so after my paranoid post last week, we ended up seeing the OB on Friday. It was a new OB. Dr. R. We loved her! She was very calm and patient. Answered all of our questions and is at the facility much closer to us. Anyway, she again reassured me that the bleeding is not something that they know the cause exactly. It just happens. She checked my cervix, everything is closed.
Then she even went through my list of concerns and addressed each one. It was great! When it came to the u/s she took her time. Looked all around just to make sure there was no spots for potential bleeding, etc. She said everything looked great. She also spent lots of time looking at the babies, which we, of course, loved! They were jumping all around! I had just happened to mention that we weren't finding out the sexes and she said..."whew I am so glad you told me. I almost just blew it and told you!" Then she had a great smile that said "I know something you don't!" LOL
Anyway, did get some pictures of their little hands. It was amazing how much they had grown. At one point one of the twins actually put both hands up to the screen...it was a great moment!
So at the end of the appointment I was very happy and much more comfortable. Now this doctor wasn't taking new patients which bummed me out. But I did email her just to check. She emailed right back, said she was adding us to her panel and that her assistant would be calling with new appt times!! We were so thrilled!! Though she did mention that with twins we may end up seeing the perinatologist (high-risk doctor) since we are having twins and I have glucose intolerance. But in the meantime I am super excited to be with her!
So 14 weeks is here! I cant believe it! Time really does fly. Just goes to show you how fast life in general goes by like a flash of lighting.
Not much has changed. I am getting my energy back and finally starting to feel normal for the entire day. Evenings were tough there for a bit. You know I feel better when the kitchen is clean! LOL I am starting to show a bit, but nothing that anyone who didn't know me would notice. The bleeding is getting lighter and lighter, which I am soo very thankful for. Guess those babies just needed to get a bit bigger. :)
All in all...things are looking good!!
So here are the babies.........

Twin A ... top of head and right arm, hand

Twin B gets a bit more complicated....laying on back, right arm, palm side up, by head. Now the doctor was like, there is the head, eyes, jaw, etc...but I don't see it! LOL The other black blob to the right is Twin A

Officially ....

I am in the 2nd trimester!! Yipee! 13 weeks and 2 days today. Though I must say, I thought I would feel a lot "safer" in the pregnancy now. I guess with the bleeding still there it makes me worry and over think everything!! Like, am I "growing" enough...now most fluffy women say they don't show until later, but I guess I just figured with twins I would pop out instantly in the 2nd trimester (logically thinking, right!!?!). I want to be able to feel our babies move inside and then have a more secure feeling. I know I am not the only one that has ever felt this way, it can just be overwhelming sometimes. We waited so long for this I just want to "feel" like everything is fine. Also, with twins another concern...is one growing more than the other, are they both okay. The threat of losing one or both just tears at me sometimes!! I have seen our babies 5 times, each with perfect little heartbeats. Why is that not enough reassurance for me...sheesh...what a worrier I am!

So, to just provoke my worry a bit more I called the doctor today to make an appointment for next week to check on the bleeding again. I just feel like I need to get looked at again, even if it is nothing.

Other than my worry being drastically out of control, everything else seems to be good and normal. Still take my daily naps. I am feeling worse this past week, but usually at night time. Oh well, Ill take whatever I have to.

Symptoms

So far this pregnancy I haven't really noticed too much of any symptoms.

What I do notice are slight....

• mood swings (okay so sometimes these arent that slight)
• nauseous (not to the point that I vomit, but it sneaks up on me and I gag)
• nap time (I usually take a 2 hour nap everyday, though some days I can stay awake)
• energy (even if I am awake, I just don't have energy to do much of anything)
• eating (seems like I can get very little down before I know nothing else will stay down and I need to eat every 2-3 hours...otherwise see symptom #2)
  

So those are most of them. The others a bit more obvious are the using the restroom (every 2 hours!) and my stomach stretching.

The other day Dave and I were grocery shopping and I moaned and held my stomach. He, of course, thought something was wrong. I laughed and said if something was wrong I would let you know. He wanted to "know" what it felt like...the best I could explain was like a crocheted blanket, pulling in different directions. I know they are just making room...but sometimes it almost takes my breath away. I can only imagine what it is going to feel like with 4 little hand and feet kicking all around!!

I'll take it!!! :)

12 weeks

So yesterday was our 12 week appointment. Which we get an ultrasound each time since it is easier to see the heartbeats of the babies.

We actually went in on Tuesday because I had passed some rather large clots and well, quite frankly, it freaked me out! So we went in just to check on the babies, which they were fine and dandy all nestled in.

So, back to my appointment with the midwife. She was great. Lots of great information and went over all my test results as well. We chatted about classes to take and breastfeeding books. Strangest moment was when she was giving me the breast exam and said "Are you going to nurse?" I said I was going to try and she replied "Good, cause you have great nipples! They aren't just for decoration, ya know." Too funny!!! Well at least I have good nipples!!! :)

The appointment went well and the babies were moving all around. Doing flips and such! She said I am measuring about 14 weeks, but that is normal for twins.

We talked about her delivering, but I guess if it is twins Kaiser doesnt allow the midwives to deliver. So I am checking into doulas. Hopefully the babies will cooperate and go head down when its time and I can deliver them both naturally (at least that is my hope).

We also did the genetic testing, but won't get results on that until after 16 weeks, when they take an additional blood draw. Mainly just to say informed should we need to research any "issues" that may arise.

My next appointment isnt until Dec. 8th (16 weeks) and then again Jan. 6th. We also have our formal u/s (ultrasound) scheduled for Jan. 12th.

So far so good! And now the whole world knows. Grandparents telling friends, Facebooks status updated, emails sent out. Scary and exciting at the same time. This journey has been so private and just between us for so long it is a bit surreal to "share" it with everyone. But totally worth celebrating..in my opinion!! LOL

It was hard to get some really good shots of the babes, but Ill take what I can get!!

Both babies (twin B left, twin A right)

Twin A (head and body)

Twin B (full body and head)

Naps, Mood Swings & Bleeding ... Oh my!

Well those seem to be my symptoms thus far. Those and a bit of nausea. All of which I can handle. Poor Dave and the mood swings though. He goes with it and knows it is not worth the argument.
The other day, poor husband of mine, tried to make peace with me. One minute I am crying, telling him to cuddle with me, he walks to me and then I turn and say that I don't want him close to me! Sheesh .... some days I REALLY don't feel like myself. It is definitely a weird feeling!

So I was 11 weeks yesterday. I am soo happy to have made it this far! Only 1 more week and then the world can know. It is just the last little reassurance that I need seeing them 1 more time in the 1st trimester. We have our 12 week appt next Wednesday with the midwife. I am really looking forward to it.

What I didn't look forward to was the 3 hr glucose test. Though I technically "passed" the test I did have one level that was slightly elevated. So I had to speak with a dietitian and she gave me ideas for meals and looks at the carb content. Sounds easy enough to follow...so I will do my best! I really need to make a trip to the grocery store now. They will test my glucose again at 24 weeks.

As for the bleeding, it is still there, on and off. I am trying not to panic about it since only appears when I wipe and is usually dark red or brown, which is old blood. It is still a bit panicky just because, duh, you aren't supposed to bleed when you are pregnant! But I will get through this and the babies will be just fine.

I am starting to feel a bit heavier in the stomach. But I won't complain about that just yet, since I know it is going to get alot heavier!! LOL

Here's counting down the days until 2nd trimester!!

10 weeks

Well yesterday we made it to the 10 week mark. I thought that bleeding was over with, but this morning I had a bit more. Nothing to be too concerned with, since it looks to be old blood and only when I wipe *tmi sorry*. It is still very nerve wrecking. We have seen the babies 4 times, all with good heartbeats, but I still worry. I know the chance of miscarriage at this point is slim, but I would just like to enjoy the time that I have and not have to think everything I use the bathroom. Oh well, I suppose this is just one tiny worry among the many that I will have a mom.

The thought of twins is still overwhelming at times, but I know God would not have given us anything that we could not handle. My fears at this point mainly consist of :

• how big am I really going to get?
• 2 sets of feet,2 sets of hands, 2 bodies, 2 heads all rolling around inside of me...ouch!
• Will I have enough time to spend with each of them?
• Will they both feel equally loved?

So I know they are needless worries..but what can I say...I have thought about those things!
Anyway, I made the Dr. take a picture of them, since he got a semi-good shot of them both at the same time. They still look like tiny blobs...but soon enough we will see full human babies....I am convinced! LOL

We go to the Dr. again at 12 weeks. We will be seeing the Nurse Midwife which I am totally excited about. We may just end of staying with her the entire pregnancy. In the meantime, I have lots of information to look into. They also gave me a list of classes and I have already marked the ones that I wish to take. Better be over prepared, right?!!?

Side note: I got lots of blood work done yesterday. Dr. emailed said every thing looked fine....except....I failed my 1 hour glucose! Crap!! So now I have to go back and take the 3 hour test....joy! (not)

So without further adieu .... Here my babes!!


* I know, blobs, right?? Well they are still our blobs! Twin A - right, Twin B- left*

2.5 hours

That is the amount of time we spent in the ER last night. We had yet another scare. Around 1130pm I noticed a bit of spotting. By 12 it was flowing out of my body. It was a terrible feeling. We called the clinic Dr. G was on call. Technically we have been graduated out, but since we haven't seen our OB yet, we called the clinic instead. Me told me to watch it and if it kept bleeding to go to the ER. Otherwise, come in the office tomorrow to be seen. Well by 1230 or so I had soaked through another pantyliner. Super scary. So off we went to the ER. While I was being signed in I could feel more just gush out of me. I went to the restroom and sure enough!! They brought me right back and did a pelvic exam. My cervix was closed! The first of the good news!! Now we just waited for the OB Dr. to come down and do the ultrasound. They did the abdominal ultrasound this time. Sure enough, two little babies with two tiny heartbeats sat snug and warm inside me.
WHAT A FREAKIN RELIEF!!! We were able to get out of there by 330am and back home to rest by 4! What a night.
I was still bleeding (and still bleed as I type this). But it is definitely less and I am not soaking through anything. I called the clinic again this morning, just to make sure they didn't want to see me. The nurse advised me that as long as I saw the heartbeats I am in good shape. Really if it was a vessel or a cyst that burst I just have to let it run its course. So scary as that was, and frankly still is, everything has turned out blessed. I know and trust that this pregnancy is fully in God's hands. He will keep our children safe and make the best decisions for them until the time that we get to hold them in our arms.
The OB Dr also reassured us that since we have seen the heartbeats the chance of miscarriage is very low for us. It is still that little percent the scares me. I just pray for an uneventful remainder of the pregnancy!

9 weeks

I am 9 weeks pregnant today!! I still dont have a lot of symptoms. Well I dont think so, but according to Dave, I do!

I have been able to take a nap in the afternoon, which is nice. Eating is something that doesn't really interest me. I have been losing weight, but not that I am trying to. So I basically eat whatever sounds appealing, healthy or not! At least it is all staying down.

The last couple of days I have come down with a cold. Which really stinks! The most annoying part is the cough. I almost vomit if I cough enough. Not a very good feeling.

Oh and taking my meds at night is sometimes a challenge. And flossing too.

Okay so I guess I do have some symptoms, but nothing I cant handle!! :)

Grow babies grow!

8 weeks

Well we had our 8 week u/s on Oct. 16th. I wasn't feeling all that well that morning, but nothing I am complaining about!

We didn't have quite as long a wait this time. As he started the u/s he said "there they are". THEY!!! Twin B was growing and doing great!! We were elated!! Here they are .....



Twin B looks funny in this picture..but I think it is just the back
Then to our glorious surprise, we got to hear the heartbeats of our babies!! It literally brought tears to our eyes!

Twin A 174 bpm
Twin B 185 bpm
We have officially been released to our OB. It is exciting and scary all at once! We have our 10 week u/s with our OB on Oct. 28th. I will still be taking the progesterone shots and the suppositories until the 27th, which again will be another exciting milestone, but also a scary one!

We just pray that God keeps our babies safe and sound and He spends time with them and guides them until they can be placed in our arms in May.

Telling the Grandparents

Well these were a very exciting times!!

We told my mom and dad #2 on Oct. 3rd. Our "ploy" was an airshow that we invited our parents to. I put the surprise in a bag like this...

And this is the box that was hidden inside ...



And this is what was inside the box .....


And here is was my mom's reaction after she opened the unsuspecting box ...


She screamed and cried and screamed some more ....


And then of course the hug (of almost death it was so tight!) ...


Then the following weekend, Oct. 10th, we ventured up to my dad's to bring him his birthday gift of brownies and also my grandad's birthday gift of cookies. Although of course there was another "gift" we were giving them too! Here are their cards ...


Here was my dad's reaction ....


And excitement ....

And then the hug .... With Dave's dad we had to call him, since he is in Canada and all! Dave simply told him that we had just got our flu shots, since anyone who is pregnant or lives in a household with a pregnant person should have one. His dad said "Who is pregnant?" To which I replied... "That would be me!" He was "on cloud nine" according to what he told my parents when he called them immediately afterward!!

It was great to be able to share this moment with my family!! And yes, we still made it to the airshow! LOL

Scare

On October 12th I woke to a huge scare. There was blood on my pantyliner. Bright red blood. I have never been so spooked in my life! I called the Dr. right away. They said not to panic and watch it for the day. If it continues by noon to call and they would get me in. So hard not to panic!!
Luckily, there was no more bleeding. Just that one incident. They said it was likely do to the hormones that I am on and a blood vessel popped. Still scary nonetheless!!
For that day I just laid low and didn't even speak to anyone on the phone. I needed some alone time to pray and think.

Babies

So we had our 6 week ultrasound on Oct. 1st.

After the longest 1 hour wait of my life, 3 bathroom trips later, the doctor came in and started the ultrasound.

2 sacs were present. Thats right Twins!!

With Twin A ... you could clearly see the little person in there and their heart was just thumping away! It was so amazing to see.

I started laughing cause I was so excited. The doctor had to stop the u/s for a second because it was bouncing everywhere while I laughed.

Twin A's heartbeat was 106 bpm. Which Dr. says is great!

He then moved on to Sac B (Twin B). The sac is present, and he thought he could see something in there, but couldnt get a clear shot. So we are hoping for our 8 week u/s for Twin B to make him/her self present and with a strong heartbeat as well.

All great news!!!

Twin A

Heartbeat Twin A (106)

Sac for Twin B, which we hope to see at 8 weeks! Grow little guy or gal!!

On the right path

Well, I had another beta drawn on Sept. 24th.

3, 269!! Fantastic!

So our 1st ultrasound is scheduled for Oct. 1st. I am thrilled and nervous all at once. I wonder how many are in there? One healthy baby is good for me! All others are just a blessed bonus! I am sure once the 1st trimester is over I will be a bit more settled and a whole new set of worries will pop up. But until them I am trying to take this pregnancy in 2 weeks increments! LOL

On a not so fun side, I still have to take the suppositories rectally and now have to use Monistat for the yeast infection for the next 7 days. Which is not fun at all since it burns like nobodies business. It sucks! But I will do what I have to do.

I will be 6 weeks on Wednesday. I am happy to have made it past the 5 week mark, since that is when the last pregnancy was lost. I have no symptoms yet except for some nauseous here and there and my breast are a bit sore, but nothing even close to major pain. Though I hear after 6 weeks it all goes downhill, so here's to hoping things stay "calm" ! LOL

Lookin good!

Well after me being paranoid and wanting another blood test things look good!

Beta #1 26.1

Beta #2 92.1

Beta #3 259!!!

Love it! This Thrusday (9-24) we get another beta and if that one looks good (and of course it will) then we schedule our first ultrasound for the following week! Yipee! Finally get to see these little people inside me!

I go back to work tomorrow after having a month off. I am a bit worried because of stress, lifting a toddler and not wanting to do anything to compromise this wonderful moment! I am sure it is just my paranoid self making more worry than needed, so all I can do what I can do.

This baby is forever and always in God's hands!

money, money, money

I forget to mention that when we went in yesterday for beta #2, I mentioned to the nurse that I have had some vaginal itching. So of course I had to be seen. And they were super busy too!!

Anyway, it turned out to be a yeast infection. Oh joy. Luckily it is external only so a topical cream will work to clear it up. But remember those wonderful vaginal suppositories...well for 3 days they need to go "down under"!! Yucky!! Not my most proud moment, but guess ya gotta do whatcha gotta do!

Also, today I called the clinic again and asked for another beta test tomorrow when we go in to pay for the frozen embies. So I have another beta tomorrow and pray for even higher numbers. It will just settle me. We also found out that after beta #2, all other visits are not covered.

Sheesh...like paying upward toward $15k wasnt enough! Now we pay for the bloodwork tomorrow, next Thursday and our 1st u/s . Very frustrating, but as Dave keeps reminding me....worth it in the end. Still....the money tree is drying up YO!

Betas

Well we went in for our 1st beta on Sept. 12th. They dont run those results and wait until the second draw to run them together. We went in for beta #2 on Sept. 14th. We are looking for doubling numbers. Numbers themselves make me a bit nervous. When we were pregnant before my 1st beta was 55, 2nd was 72. Not good, no doubling, so it resulted in a miscarriage. Doctors said that all the progesterone and such should help eliminated a lot of the miscarriage issues. So that is hopeful. I did cheat a bit and take a test, there was a light positive. But I have had that before so I dont trust those stinkin tests. I wanted numbers!!  Anyway,

Beta #1 was 26.1

Beta #2 was 92.1

All great but until I spoke with the nurse I didnt realize how great. The 26.1 worried me a bit. She advised me that when you do an IUI beta #1 is usually done 18 days later. This beta, since it was IVF, was much sooner. So they are looking for anything above 10. So in that case 26.1 is good and since it more than doubled (almost tripled as noted by Dave).. it officially means............................

.............................................................

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!

So now there is beta #3 on Sept 24th, which they look for numbers over 1000 at that point. Then if that goes well..... Ultrasound (u/s) Oct. 1st to see the heartbeat(s)!

Wow...so we are cautious excited and know that each and every moment is God's creation and plan.

Shots

Well as for medications, I am still currently taking a progesterone shot every morning and vaginal suppositories at night.

My rear is sore and very bruised! You can't tell in this picture but Dave is having way too much fun with this shot business! The circle area....is usually a happy face!!

And with those shots...as Dave disposes of them he likes to goof off. With needles no less! I have told him a hundred times......

If you play with needles, you're gonna get hurt (not something I ever intended to say, especially to my grown husband!)

3 long days

So sitting in a reclining position for 3 days is actually a challenge. Who knew it!

We did find out that after the transfer we did have a total of 5 embies to freeze! Wonderful for future little babies! Exciting!

So my 3 days consisted of going to the bathroon, laying on the couch, laying in bed. Yep..thats it.

Oh and lots, lots and lots of TV and movies!! Supernanny, West Side Story, Adventureland, Watchman, International, 17 Again, Bedtime Stories, Bed of Roses, Knowing and anything else that I could find of interest.

It also consisted of naps, eating and my wonderful husband waiting on my hand and foot. I swear he is the best husband ever. I didnt have a lift a finger and was only allowed to sit upright or even stand for no more than 5 minutes. He was very insistant! But since I love him I happily obligiged.

I am glad that stint is over but am anxiously awaiting the results. Saturday is beta blood draw #1. They hold that sample and take another one on Monday. They run them together and see if the numbers increase they way they are supposed to. So the next couple of days I am trying to stay sane, keep busy and not dwell.

This is in God's hands and I know His will be done!

Transfer Day

Well Day 5 Transfer day came on 9/6/09.

The worst part was having to drink so much water that I thought for sure I was going to pee all over the doctor!! Luckily, he let me "potty" just a bit before, since they do want your bladder full, but not uncomfortable.

We had 4 great embies that had made it to blastocysts stage. 2 which where the "top of the class". So we transferred 2. The other 2 grew with their sibling embies for the next couple of days until we got a final "freezing" count.

It was amazing to watch the transfer. Originally we had these 2 perfect embies



Then the embryologist, Ann (love her!) came in and advised us that she liked the looks of another better, so she swapped one out and we got these 2 perfect embies!!



So the transfer went very smoothly. Very comfortable. So here sit our baby embies!!!



Simply Amazing! So make yourselves at home babies. Cuddle in and enjoy the ride!

Connection

Is it so bizarre to me to think of 19 little "babies" sitting a room just growing.

They are my babies.

How odd a feeling to have such a connection to what is scientifically "cells".

Emotionally "ours".

Our cells, that combined together to create our babies.

It is very surreal and unless you have gone through InVitro yourself, you cant even understand how bizarre and connected you feel. Even to "cells" that are forming "outside" of your body.

Day 3

So, we got the call this morning...here are our stats:

They like them to be anywhere between 6-9 cells

We have:

10 - 8 cells

1 - 7 cell

3 - 6 cell

3 - 5 cell

2 - 4 cell

So we are lookin' good!! They will keep all 19 and see how they grow before any are considered "puttered" out. I am estastic! 10 -8 cells!! Wowsa!!!

Grow babies grow! divide, divide, divide!

Privacy

I realize that I just gave this blog out to everyone...but it is time for me to "taketh away".

Since we are getting VERY close now, I want to be able to share the rest of this experience with my husband and then share with my family before the "world" knows.

I am sure you can all understand. I will still do posts but as of tomorrow...this blog will be locked.

Rest assured, as of right now, things are looking fantastic! I will "unlock" once things are more solid. Thanks for understanding, or not. But please feel free to come over and pray over the blog, even when locked.

Thanks everyone!

Numbers

So we got the call this morning at 730am.

They retrieved 30 eggs yesterday, 20 of which were mature. So 27 was a bit off, but still 20 rocks!!

Of the 20 .... 19 fertilized!! That is fantastic! She said they are happy with 70% and we got like 95%. I told her "we do what we can"! :)

So that is wonderful, wonderful news. Now just for those little embies to divide and divide and grow and grow.

We are set for a tenative transfer date, which could be bumped out if they can't figure out who "is the best of the best!"

So all good news today! Yipee!

Sleeping was a bit difficult because 1) I was sore 2) I was excited 3) I had to use the bathroom every 2 hours! Oh well...so worth it in the long run. I am sure the next couple of weeks will be looooonnnnngggg for me!

How many???

Well egg retrieval went well. I was nervous. I have to admit!

We got there at 7:30 am. They brought us in, I got into the robe and gave them our IVF cd. They put the IV in and went over paperwork.

Everyone was great! So friendly.

After I emptied my bladder, they escorted me into the operating room, while Dave waited in the hallway on the comfy couch.

As I sat there and the song "the River" played I had to catch my breath. It was overwhelming and I choked back the tears. It was harder than I care to admit not having Dave there by my side. But I just listened to the song, glanced around the room, took a deep breath and knew that I and this operating room were in God's hands.

They gave me the "good stuff" and I was out. I only remember waking up with Dave by my side. Apparently I was crying when Dave came in and he asked why and I just said, "cause you are here". Now there were no witnesses, so its his word! LOL  (but Im pretty sure its the truth)

Dr. G came in to let us know how many follicles he got. He said that he went to one side, cleared it out, then went to the other, and back again and realized there were more in there!! So the total.....

30! Yikes 30 follies...guess the count on Sunday was a bit off !

But of course not all are mature. So as I woke up and they pushed fluids into me we just waited.

Daves count came back.... 20 million and 58% motility...which is great!

Then we got how many mature follies.... 27!!! Holy moly!!

We decided to ICSI (fertilize) all of them and see where it goes.

So now I am home....resting...and Dave is at my every need. Gosh I love him.

Going up the stairs is more than a hop and a skip but I make it up. It is weird to think that the follies are gone but the major pressure is still there. I feel like I have to "carry" my uterus around. And I am sure that me walking around like an old lady hunched over is a site!

So tomorrow morning we should get the report for fertilization and Dr. G said since there are so many it is likely for a Day 5 transfer.

Oh and the best part.... the "drug" guy (anesthesiologist) AND the Dr. G prayed over us after the procedure. It was a wonderful feeling to feel God's presence all around us!

On a side note, while I was on the heart monitor when I was "out", they noticed an irregular heartbeat. So they printed off the chart for me and told me to see my regular doctor. Appt is set for Friday, 9/11. I am hoping it was just a "freak" thing, but better be safe than sorry.

Egg Retrival

Today, as you read this, I am either still at the clinic or hopefully resting on my couch watching a movie.

Please pray over this blog today. Pray for good eggs, good fertilization, lots of little embryos!

I know this life, my life, my husbands life, our children's lives are all in His hands. I trust His hands.

Pray for a fast recovery and fresh and viable transfer of babies on Transfer day.

Grow babies.. grow.

Medications

Okay just for 'crime and punishment' or knowledge later on, I want to make a list of the medications I took, am taking and vitamins that I swallow!

So from 8/21/09 - 8/29/09 I was taking

Gonal -F in the morning and Menopur at night

On 8/27/09 I added Ganirelix in the morning to trick my mind from ovulating and also added vaginal suppositories to increase my uterus lining

On 8/30/09 I tool my trigger shot of Ovidrel and Lupron at 830pm

Pills I take are:

Metformin for blood sugar levels 2x a day (4 pills total)

At night I take Dexamethasone, 1 low dose asprin (which is on hold for 3 days), 1000 mg prenatal vita, 2000 mg folic acid, 27 mg Iron, 1000 mg calcium, 300 mg fish oil, 1000 mg Vita D

I beleive my last count was 14 pills a day, 3 shots.

Today, was the first day with no shots. It was nice but I have to admit I am feeling very heavy. I cant walk fast and sometimes even laughing hurts since it "bounces" around.

But in the end it will be worth it...so I just take it all in and know it is in God's hands. So I surrender it all to Him.

Crazy as I am..I took pictures of some of the meds! LOL

Ultrasounds

Well, after being on meds for over a week...my ovaries are ready to go!

8/30/09

Right ovary ... average size 20cm! I have around 11-12 on this side! Wowsa

Left Ovary...average size 18-19! I have around 8-10 on this side! Yikes!

Uterus lining... 9cm! Perfect!

So we are set!! Tonight I took my trigger shot at 830pm. They are called Ovidrel (250mg) and Lupron (2mg). I am mainly naming them because I know one day I may want to look back and "reflect!"

So now we are scheduled to be at the clinic at 730am on Tuesday morning. Egg retrieval day. It is scary and exciting all in one.

This is something we have wanted for so long. And we have great expectations that it will be a great outcome. But of course there is still that part of me that wants to "control". Though I know this is completely up to God. I trust Him with this situation (as I should with everything in life), wholeheartedly.

We get to play music while I am have the retrieval done. I will be under, but subconsciously I know it will be a good thing. I have made a CD, purely of Christian based songs. The CD calms me and allows me to trust, let go, and give God the lead reigns!

Prayers

I feel that God calls on people to pray at all different times in their lives. This is a time when I am reaching out saying that I do indeed need prayers. I only chose a few select people to pray over this blog for us. This is still very much a private and personal matter. An emotional journey into the unknown.

I hope and pray this is our chance. An opportunity like this only comes to us, once. I pray there are lots of embryos created, so we can grow our family. I pray to one day hold that babe in my arms and see God's miracle before me. I pray that His plan reveals itself in marvelous ways. I know the power of prayer. And I can feel the links between God's people and the strength that it gives.

So please, pray for us. Thank you.

U/S #2

So today, Aug. 26th, I had my 2nd u/s

Things were looking good! Lining is a bit thin, so I am going to have to take vaginal suppositories to help that along.

They found 11 follies on each side!! WHOOOO! I am extremely excited about this. My big fear was that nothing would grow and mature.

So as it stands I am taking:

225 iu of Gonal-F (morning)

150 iu of Menopur (night)

Regular batch of vitamins and some other oral meds

Starting tomorrow am 1 dose of Ganirelex (morning)

And tonight the vaginal suppositories (night)

next appt is Saturday. Projected retrival date: 9/2 - 1 week! Wow!

Egg class

We took the egg class on August 24th. What an interesting class. It was packed too!

Lots of very useful information that puts minds at ease. What equipment they use, terms they use, the procedure.

Things to expect, how we would feel, the lab and its procedures.

It was all very interesting and the Embryologist that taught the class (Ann) was wonderful. Nice, funny and best of all, put things that are normally "dr lingo" into very simple "regular people" terms.

Cycle Day #1

So I was on birth control for 2 month prior to starting our IVF cycle. It was to regulate my period. On July 21st (Happy bday honey) I started what would hopefully be my last period for quite sometime!

We went into get our baseline ultrasound (u/s). Everything looked good. I was to start my meds the next day.

Dave also gave his "information in a cup".  So we could see where we stood.

The next day Dr. G called and confirmed that we, indeed, did need to use a process called ICSI. In lame terms, instead of "nature taking its course in the dish" , Embryolosits would "assist" the little guys by gently placing them into the egg.

This was hard for me to comprehend and I was a bit nervous to tell Dave. Yet, he was relieved. "At least he knew", he said. Well...now who is the positive thinker now!

Next step was to take the egg retrival class

Medication

So medication is another HUGE chunk of the cost of this journey. Truth be told, probably close to half the cost. So Judy advised us of the medication we (I) would be taking. I then research different mail-order pharmacies to see who has the best deal. Then tell her, she orders them, they call us to verify and recieve payment, and the next day they are delivered to our door. Simple enough, except that for the most part you need to be home to recieve them since you have to sign for them and put them in the fridge.

Usually simple except the day we were to recieve the "fridge" meds, Dave just happened to be purchasing a new car for me. Poor man was running all around, and still wanting to make sure he was home to recieve the meds.

Whew..it all got taken care of. I got the car ('03 Nissan Murano), we got the meds and they made it into the fridge.

Job well done! And it only cost X,XXX! Yikes!

Meeting with the Nurse

We were thankfully and graciously given this opportunity to embark on the IVF journey of a lifetime. I know that sounds a bit cliche but its very true. The journey is an expensive one, and by God's miracle and grace (and angels on earth) we were given the chance.

So, with that we met with our Nurse Coordinator. She follows us through the whole process. She is our "go-to" gal. Her name is Judy. She is an older women, but sassy. We love her! It was good meeting with her and getting to know her. After all, she is part of this miracle. She teaches us the do's and don'ts, the must have and have not's.

So she went over the medication we needed to order and how to actually "inject" the meds. Most of which we knew from having done the IUI cycles, but still informative. We also scheduled my recommended Hystercopy

I had the HSC done on Aug. 13th.  They gave me a shot for pain, some valium and vicodin. But the procedure was still painful. They basically shoot a liquid into your uterus to make sure "all looks okay in there". Well my uterus didnt like that very much. Which they say is common, but still didnt keep the tears at bay.

I am so fortune to have a husband that is there with me, holding my hand, every step of the way. He attends every class, every appointment, every ultrasound. I am one lucky lady!

The plan

We had our first visit with the clinic in late June. Had blood drawn for levels and met with our doctor.  Dr. G is wonderful. Very personable and gentle. Which is nice when it comes to hearing the news

"I think it is best for you to proceed to InVitro"

Guess in the back of our minds we always kinda knew that was the route we would take. Still doens't make it any easier to hear. We have gone through so much already and now we need to move on to the "last hope". I know saying "last hope" is not a pretty thing, but in our case, that is what it is.

Hearing "IVF" was really hard for me. We met with the Dr. and the financial coordinator. I held it all together. But when we got in the car to drive home, I broke.

It is really hard for me, as a women, to feel like I "fail" at the one thing I was born to do. Now I realize this is a very wrong way to be looking at things. But at that moment, that is how I felt. Sometimes I still do, but I am trying to remember that God has me on this earth for lots of gifts. I just pray and hope that being a mom is one of those.

Time to tell

So, in late June I told my parents what we are going through. I told them the trials and tests we have endured this past year or so. My reason, since I like to keep this as private as possible, there was a class that the clinic we are going to was offering. I felt it was time for my parents, especially my mom, to know a bit more of the depth of things and have a better understanding.

It was tough to tell them. As I am sure it was tough to hear it all. Especially the pregnancy that my mom knew nothing about. Hard to hear all the pain and troubles your child has had to go through, I am sure isnt plesant for any parent.

So mom decided to go to the class with me and Dave. It was nice to get familiar with the clinic and its staff. I am sure it put my mom at ease, as well. It was very informative and I am glad we went. My mom had the chance to ask questions, which I think was really good for her.

It was good to have her there and know she is by our side. (Like I ever had any doubt!)

Best Friends

Well the inevitable happened. As to be expected... Mindy is pregnant. She is due Jan 1, 2010. It is a mix of emotions for me. I dont wish she wasn't pregnant, yet that I could share the experience with her. Then another emotion of, why her and not me, envelops me.

Though I am happy for her. I dont wish anyone, especially her, to experience what we have gone through.

Doesn't mean I still dont hurt and get frustrated and confused to just understand.

...Its over...

Well I started bleeding a bit last week. I went for another beta and saw the ob/gyn. He didnt see any sac, which he said he should have seen something by now. Got the beta #'s back and they were 51. So we lost the baby. It was surreal. We never really had a chance to relish in the moment. We found out and the entire week that we were "pregnant" it was a rollercoaster. So it never really set in. Though we did break down. Sometimes we just dont understand God's timing or reason. I went for another beta yesterday, because they have to make sure my number gets below 5 (normal). It was 12, so that is good. I go again next week which I am sure it will be normal again. It is so weird for me. Walking around bleeding, thinking in the back of my brain, I am miscarrying while I walk around here. I know that is weird and bizarre, but just imagine what I am going through. So since we told VERY few people, meaning like 5 people at my work, it was difficult to tell them. I emailed 3 of them and the other 2 I just kinda blurted it out when I had the courage. Sad to say, but at least it is passing and we can continue on. There will likely be a lapse in this blog, as Dave and I have decided to take a couple of months to focus on moving, getting healthy and enjoying our anniversary. So once we return from our anniversay trip in April we plan on meeting with the Dr. again to go over the game plan and see were we can end up! Hopefully it will mean a baby or babies this time next year! Here is too a very fertile 2009!! LOL Gotta keep laughing right?!?!

...Just numbers right? ...

Well I went in for my first beta on Wed, Jan. 14th. The # was 55. Drs office said that yes I am in fact pregnant. They did another blood draw on Friday, Jan 16th. Now numbers should double every 48-72 hours. My number on Friday was 79. No exactly doubling, but still going up. I was less than relaxed. Tears, lots of them. Dave, my rock, researched it and said low numbers, as long as they are rising are good numbers. Plus it could be that it takes my body 72 hours, not the 48 that I did. So now we just wait, as the drs office isnt open again until Tuesday. The rollercoaster continues. Not to mention, the same day I got results #2, I went to a baby shower afterward. I could only muster enough strength to keep my emotions under wrap for 1.5 hours. Oh well at least I went. So prayers continue and my husband, who I love even more today than yesterday, continues to be my rock, my support, my hope and my encourager. Thank God for him!

... Rollercoaster ...

Sometimes when you think you are getting off the ride it is just beginning!
So I took the urine test that that drs office requires yesterday (1-13). This morning, checked the results online....negative!!
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!
I took another home test....still pregnant.
So I called the drs office at 540am and left a message, that was probably just jibberish, since I was in shock! I took the day off work, I couldnt handle it!
They called back and said sometimes their test wont show if its too early. So in for bloodwork I went. To make sure the numbers are there. Then I go again Friday to make sure they are increasing as they should.
Sheesh....I would say the worry is over, but it is just beginning I suppose!!
But on another note, we did find a perfect house to rent. Complete with nursery right next to our room!
Fingers crossed, prayers every minute!!

... Fairytales ...

So as stated before, we did our 4th IUI around Christmas. What an adventure to take fertility shots during the holidays. Sneaking away at approximately 730pm to the restroom to inject myself. At my Aunt's on Christmas Eve, during presents at my parents on Christmas day. This whole rollercoaster has been dodging through obstacles, but it does make for interesting stories, if nothing else.
So, we crossed our fingers and prayed really really hard for 2 weeks. On January 7th I started spotting. Which means my period would be here in 3 days or so. Exactly 2 weeks after our IUI. I was at an impasse. Hurt, crushed, lost, afraid. I cried and Dave was right there with me. I thought this was "the" one.......
............
..........................
..................................
On January 11th, my period never came. Humm, I thought. But still waited. Monday night was long enough. I got a test on the way home and took it as soon as I walked in the door.
This is what I saw...............




Oh My Freakin Gosh!!! Is that for real?!! I think it might be broken! I showed it to Dave, totally not the way I wanted to tell him, but after all this....I just wanted him to know! He was like what does that mean....wait for it....wait for it....eyes widen and a smile consumes his face. Oh my gosh....we're having a baby!!! Yes we are having a baby! There were lots of tears, more laughter. It is truely unbelievable. God is completely in control! I did keep checking back to make sure it say "just kidding" "haha" ! Were we being punk'd?!?!

In fact no.....we are not being punk'd.....but what we are is..........

PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fairytales do come true! God always has a perfect plan. And my life, and my children's lives are completely in his hands!