Tuesday, January 27, 2009

...Its over...

Well I started bleeding a bit last week. I went for another beta and saw the ob/gyn. He didnt see any sac, which he said he should have seen something by now. Got the beta #'s back and they were 51. So we lost the baby. It was surreal. We never really had a chance to relish in the moment. We found out and the entire week that we were "pregnant" it was a rollercoaster. So it never really set in. Though we did break down. Sometimes we just dont understand God's timing or reason. I went for another beta yesterday, because they have to make sure my number gets below 5 (normal). It was 12, so that is good. I go again next week which I am sure it will be normal again. It is so weird for me. Walking around bleeding, thinking in the back of my brain, I am miscarrying while I walk around here. I know that is weird and bizarre, but just imagine what I am going through. So since we told VERY few people, meaning like 5 people at my work, it was difficult to tell them. I emailed 3 of them and the other 2 I just kinda blurted it out when I had the courage. Sad to say, but at least it is passing and we can continue on. There will likely be a lapse in this blog, as Dave and I have decided to take a couple of months to focus on moving, getting healthy and enjoying our anniversary. So once we return from our anniversay trip in April we plan on meeting with the Dr. again to go over the game plan and see were we can end up! Hopefully it will mean a baby or babies this time next year! Here is too a very fertile 2009!! LOL Gotta keep laughing right?!?!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

...Just numbers right? ...

Well I went in for my first beta on Wed, Jan. 14th. The # was 55. Drs office said that yes I am in fact pregnant. They did another blood draw on Friday, Jan 16th. Now numbers should double every 48-72 hours. My number on Friday was 79. No exactly doubling, but still going up. I was less than relaxed. Tears, lots of them. Dave, my rock, researched it and said low numbers, as long as they are rising are good numbers. Plus it could be that it takes my body 72 hours, not the 48 that I did. So now we just wait, as the drs office isnt open again until Tuesday. The rollercoaster continues. Not to mention, the same day I got results #2, I went to a baby shower afterward. I could only muster enough strength to keep my emotions under wrap for 1.5 hours. Oh well at least I went. So prayers continue and my husband, who I love even more today than yesterday, continues to be my rock, my support, my hope and my encourager. Thank God for him!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

... Rollercoaster ...

Sometimes when you think you are getting off the ride it is just beginning!
So I took the urine test that that drs office requires yesterday (1-13). This morning, checked the results online....negative!!
I took another home test....still pregnant.
So I called the drs office at 540am and left a message, that was probably just jibberish, since I was in shock! I took the day off work, I couldnt handle it!
They called back and said sometimes their test wont show if its too early. So in for bloodwork I went. To make sure the numbers are there. Then I go again Friday to make sure they are increasing as they should.
Sheesh....I would say the worry is over, but it is just beginning I suppose!!
But on another note, we did find a perfect house to rent. Complete with nursery right next to our room!
Fingers crossed, prayers every minute!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

... Fairytales ...

So as stated before, we did our 4th IUI around Christmas. What an adventure to take fertility shots during the holidays. Sneaking away at approximately 730pm to the restroom to inject myself. At my Aunt's on Christmas Eve, during presents at my parents on Christmas day. This whole rollercoaster has been dodging through obstacles, but it does make for interesting stories, if nothing else.
So, we crossed our fingers and prayed really really hard for 2 weeks. On January 7th I started spotting. Which means my period would be here in 3 days or so. Exactly 2 weeks after our IUI. I was at an impasse. Hurt, crushed, lost, afraid. I cried and Dave was right there with me. I thought this was "the" one.......
On January 11th, my period never came. Humm, I thought. But still waited. Monday night was long enough. I got a test on the way home and took it as soon as I walked in the door.
This is what I saw...............

Oh My Freakin Gosh!!! Is that for real?!! I think it might be broken! I showed it to Dave, totally not the way I wanted to tell him, but after all this....I just wanted him to know! He was like what does that mean....wait for it....wait for it....eyes widen and a smile consumes his face. Oh my gosh....we're having a baby!!! Yes we are having a baby! There were lots of tears, more laughter. It is truely unbelievable. God is completely in control! I did keep checking back to make sure it say "just kidding" "haha" ! Were we being punk'd?!?!

In fact no.....we are not being punk'd.....but what we are is..........


Fairytales do come true! God always has a perfect plan. And my life, and my children's lives are completely in his hands!

Just a note that portions of this blog may be graphic. This has been a long journey, and keeping a detailed record is important to us. So if you are queasy, there may be parts you need to skip over. Also, any decisions regarding our children, the pregnancy, parenting ideas, are something that we consider carefully. If we decide to share them on the blog, please be cautious of criticism. We fully intend to research ideas thoroughly that we are thinking about.
We are excited to share this wonderful journey and welcome you along for the ride!!

Thanks! :)