Sunday, March 16, 2008

... Disappointment ...

So Dave and I arrived at the hospital at 730 am on the morning of March 12th, 2008. We checked in, delivered our "boys", got our color assigned to us for the day. (Everyone who comes in for an IUI gets assigned a color. So everything has your color on it and nothing can get mixed up) Our color was "power" orange, as the receptionist called it.
Then she said we could go have breakfast and come back in an hour. During that hour they would spin or wash Dave's sperm to retrieve only the best ones. Once that happens they call it a concentrated form.
So Dave and I went to Coco's for breakfast. Weird to sit there thinking, wow, in one hour we will have done this!! It was surreal. Finally, after so long, this could be it. We were taking action. If felt really good!
On our way back I cant even explain. Nervous to find out what the concentrated count was, anxious to actually get in there and get it done, excitement that this could be our time!
We got back and they called us in. The nurse had "our babies". She even said, "One of these is going to make your baby!" Oh how wonderful to hear that. So I got undressed, Dave sat down and we waited. Staring at the tube that potentially held our babies!
Then the other nurse came in. I told her I had to go to the bathroom and she said, just wait and have a seat. I knew from the tone in her voice and her body language, this wasn't going to be good.
It is all a bit of a blur now but she proceed to tell us that a test that Dave had done came back inconclusive. So it was sent off to the health department. The same test that Dave, himself, had called about since it was sent off and was told it was normal. Well this HPLV test which has been linked to HIV and Leukemia is what the problem was. Since they didn't have this test back as a negative they could not do the insemination. I was devastated. Not only was this not happening today they were telling me that potentially my husband, my world, may have a life threatening disease. I broke! I can handle, for the most part, not having children. But I cant live without my husband. He is my breath everyday.
The nurse felt really bad, she even went and checked what she could do. We made sure that the sample didn't leave the room. I covered my tear drenched face as I heard her "dump" our "babies" into the bio waste container. It was heart wrenching. We had gotten so far and were just blindsided by a brick wall. She assured us that we could still do a non medicated cycle next month and try again. But until they get the test back we were put on hold for insemination.
So we left the hospital broken. I "fixed" myself as much as possible, I didn't want to go into the waiting room and have other hopeful couples feel our loss.
The good thing that did come out of all this....Daves count was 49 million concentrated (55 before spinning). So that is wonderful news!! Much more hopeful since he has been of that stupid medication and had the lowest count ever!!
We know and pray in our hearts that God has the ultimate beautiful plan for our lives. But sometimes you just have to cry it out!

... Surge ...

So here it is...

the surge happy face!

I got this on March 11th. Meaning March 12th we would go in for our first IUI, non-medicated. Dave and I were so pumped! Dave's dad was coming into town that day, so our day was going to be jam packed. I called the Dr. on the 11th. The appt was set for Wed. March 12 to be in the office at 740. Dave made his "deposit" at 640. Then we would go in for the transfer at 840. We couldn't believe that this could finally be it! Ecstatic doesn't even begin to describe how we were feeling!

... Poke Me ...

So on Friday March 7th we took our Injection class. It was interesting to say the least. We were in there with one other couple. They went over the meds, how to prepare them and inject them. There are 2 kinds. One that I would be injecting myself, for 5-6 days, then I would be checked to see the follies. When they say, Dave then gives me the trigger (time to O) shot in my rump. He even had to practice giving me one. It was odd, but he did FANTASTIC!!! Even the nurse was impressed.
So the plan was still to do the non-medicated this cycle, then if need be, move on to the injections next cycle. Though Dr. K has me on a Clomid, Injections mix since my follies produce alot.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

... 1st Doctors visit ...

K, so I LOVE our Dr. that we saw. Now I know that they are on a rotating basis, so we may not always get him but he was great!
Anyway, we went in on Friday, Feb. 29th. Dave and I went into the room. The dr. gave me a pap and breast exam. Yes even with Dave there. Then he did a vaginal ultrasound. Oh what fun! Actually the HSG was much worse. It showed my uterus and ovaries. It was amazing. He did see what he felt may be a small polyp but didn't seem too concerned since it didn't appear on the HSG. My ovaries were full!! They had 9 follies on one side and 12 on the other!! WOW. I said is that good or bad? He said... "Good if you don't mind twins!" Unmedicated and I have that many...yikes!
He was VERY through, which Dave and I love. In Canada we didn't feel like we got that kind of attention. We have actually had more testing and stuff done here than we ever did in the 2 years we were seeing a fertility specialist in Canada.
He went over everything with us in his office. All the tests we have taken. Ordered more tests for Dave. We had to sign some disclaimers and go over risks and such.
So since my cycle had just ended we decided on this plan....
We will take the trigger shot class on Friday, March 7th
March will be an unmediated month
We will go in for an IUI the day after I get an LH surge on the ovulation predictor
If this cycle does not work, we will then move on to a medicated cycle with Clomid and Trigger shots. Then another IUI.
So that is the game plan for now. Hopefully we wont have to move on to the medicated cycle, but best be prepared.
We are very excited and nervous all at once. There was a lot of information, especially on multiple births and the risks, reductions, etc. By the end of it we were both in a bit of overload.
The funniest part of the day....when we both had to sign a waiver stating that it was okay for Dave to "donate" his sperm (only to be used by me). But since it was being done in the medical realm of things we had to sign the waiver. Also that if we do conceive that child is ours and in no way is in relation to the fertility clinic, since they "assisted" in the reproduction! return policy!!?? Sheesh!!

Just a note that portions of this blog may be graphic. This has been a long journey, and keeping a detailed record is important to us. So if you are queasy, there may be parts you need to skip over. Also, any decisions regarding our children, the pregnancy, parenting ideas, are something that we consider carefully. If we decide to share them on the blog, please be cautious of criticism. We fully intend to research ideas thoroughly that we are thinking about.
We are excited to share this wonderful journey and welcome you along for the ride!!

Thanks! :)