Tuesday, January 27, 2009

...Its over...

Well I started bleeding a bit last week. I went for another beta and saw the ob/gyn. He didnt see any sac, which he said he should have seen something by now. Got the beta #'s back and they were 51. So we lost the baby. It was surreal. We never really had a chance to relish in the moment. We found out and the entire week that we were "pregnant" it was a rollercoaster. So it never really set in. Though we did break down. Sometimes we just dont understand God's timing or reason. I went for another beta yesterday, because they have to make sure my number gets below 5 (normal). It was 12, so that is good. I go again next week which I am sure it will be normal again. It is so weird for me. Walking around bleeding, thinking in the back of my brain, I am miscarrying while I walk around here. I know that is weird and bizarre, but just imagine what I am going through. So since we told VERY few people, meaning like 5 people at my work, it was difficult to tell them. I emailed 3 of them and the other 2 I just kinda blurted it out when I had the courage. Sad to say, but at least it is passing and we can continue on. There will likely be a lapse in this blog, as Dave and I have decided to take a couple of months to focus on moving, getting healthy and enjoying our anniversary. So once we return from our anniversay trip in April we plan on meeting with the Dr. again to go over the game plan and see were we can end up! Hopefully it will mean a baby or babies this time next year! Here is too a very fertile 2009!! LOL Gotta keep laughing right?!?!

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Just a note that portions of this blog may be graphic. This has been a long journey, and keeping a detailed record is important to us. So if you are queasy, there may be parts you need to skip over. Also, any decisions regarding our children, the pregnancy, parenting ideas, are something that we consider carefully. If we decide to share them on the blog, please be cautious of criticism. We fully intend to research ideas thoroughly that we are thinking about.
We are excited to share this wonderful journey and welcome you along for the ride!!

Thanks! :)