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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The plan

We had our first visit with the clinic in late June. Had blood drawn for levels and met with our doctor.  Dr. G is wonderful. Very personable and gentle. Which is nice when it comes to hearing the news

"I think it is best for you to proceed to InVitro"

Guess in the back of our minds we always kinda knew that was the route we would take. Still doens't make it any easier to hear. We have gone through so much already and now we need to move on to the "last hope". I know saying "last hope" is not a pretty thing, but in our case, that is what it is.

Hearing "IVF" was really hard for me. We met with the Dr. and the financial coordinator. I held it all together. But when we got in the car to drive home, I broke.

It is really hard for me, as a women, to feel like I "fail" at the one thing I was born to do. Now I realize this is a very wrong way to be looking at things. But at that moment, that is how I felt. Sometimes I still do, but I am trying to remember that God has me on this earth for lots of gifts. I just pray and hope that being a mom is one of those.

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Just a note that portions of this blog may be graphic. This has been a long journey, and keeping a detailed record is important to us. So if you are queasy, there may be parts you need to skip over. Also, any decisions regarding our children, the pregnancy, parenting ideas, are something that we consider carefully. If we decide to share them on the blog, please be cautious of criticism. We fully intend to research ideas thoroughly that we are thinking about.
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Thanks! :)